Archive for May, 2013

5/31/13, My Thing

“Frankie!  How many times have I told you to lift the toilet seat?”

“Oh yeah.”

Annoyed pointing continues.  “Do you see this mess?”

“I’m sorry.   I forgot.”  Sheepish smile and then a shrug.  “Forgetting stuff is kinda my thing.”

Image courtesy of www.123rf.com

Image courtesy of www.123rf.com

 

5/28/13, Dr. Evil

“I’m Dr. Evil Pajamas!  Ha! Ha! Haaaaaaaaaaaaw!”

“Okay Dr. Pajamas.  It’s time to get dressed for school.”

“NO!  I’m Dr. Pajamas!”  The evil doctor shrieks with laughter as he gets tackled and tickled by Dr. Daddy.  When the giggles die down, the little villain is still in his pajamas.

“Okay, enough you guys. He needs to get dressed,”  Mom sighs.

“You know, if you take your pajamas off, you can be Evil Dr. Penis.”  Dad logic is in full effect.

The three-year-old mastermind’s eyes light up.  He springs to his feet and dashes to his lair.

“Make sure you put on long pants, honey.  It’s going to be colder today.”  Mom is clearly in denial.

Before Mommy Evil can haul herself out of bed to chase after him, a maniacal laugh echos in the hallway.  A naked pre-schooler charges back into the room.

“Behold!”  He spins and brandishes his weapon at his parents.  “Dr. Penis!”

Mommy presses her lips together and shoots laughing Daddy a look.  “You get him dressed.”

Courtesy of www.tedhickman.com

Courtesy of www.tedhickman.com

 

5/20/13, Stick ‘em up!

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah!”

“That’s it. Let’s go!”

Spoons crash to the counter.  They brandish both fingers at each other like pistols.

“Pew! Pew! Pew!”

“Pow! Pow! POW!”

“I’m going to beat you!” Maniacal laugh.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. Pew! Pew! Pew!”

“Well, guess what?”

“What?”

“You’re out of bullets.  Bang!  I win!”

The littlest monkey drops his finger guns in shocked defeat.  Big brother grins smugly and goes back to munching his Cheerios.  The seeds of revenge quietly take root behind his baby brothers eyes.  There will be another duel at dawn.

Image courtesy of brandontvs.webs.com

Image courtesy of brandontvs.webs.com

5/6/13, Lesson Learned

“Moooooooooommy.  Frankie won’t let me have the marble.”

“Did you ask him nicely?”

“Yeah.”

“Frankie, your brother just asked you nicely for the marble.”

The six-year-old shrugs.  “I just taught him a valuable lesson.”

“Oh, you did?”

“Yes.”

“What was the lesson?”

“You can’t always get what you want.  It’s the way of the world.”

Image courtesy of www.etsy.com/listing/54850855/wise-old-monkey-8x8-print

Image courtesy of www.etsy.com/listing/54850855/wise-old-monkey-8×8-print

 

5/2/13, Trials of Manhood

“Guess what, Mom!”

“What?”

“I can make the farty-noise with my armpit!”  Huge grin.

“Oh yeah?”

“Check this out!”  The six-year-old shoves his hand under his shirt and begins flapping his elbow up and down like a one armed chicken.  No sound is produced.  “Wait, it worked a minute ago.”

“You can do it, honey!”

He is now slamming his chicken wing up and down so hard I’m afraid he might hurt himself.  Finally, a squeak sneaks out followed by a little trumpet.  Big smile.

“Wow!”

“Are you proud of me?”

“Absolutely!”  Hugs all around!  He did it!

Image courtesy of chimpmania.com

Image courtesy of chimpmania.com