“Guess what today is, Mom!” The five-year-old skips into his room naked as a jay bird.

“What is today?”

He plops himself down on Mommy’s lap. “It’s my penis’s birthday!”

“It is?” Mommy laughs.

“Yep. He’s twelve today!”

“Twelve?! Are you sure? Because I’m pretty sure he showed up here around the same time you did.”

The monkey giggles. “Yeah. But he’s twelve. Let’s sing to him! . . .  Happy birthday to you. . . Happy birthday to you . . .”

“Happy birthday, dear Penis . . . ” Mommy sings, “Happy Birthday to you! Okay. Can we go have breakfast now?”

Image courtesy of auralmoon.com

Image courtesy of auralmoon.com